I think the story is too short now, because you still don’t really get what’s happening. I want there to be something after Malcolm gets eaten, but I can’t think of what.
What I’m thinking of at the minute is Malcolm then attacking what he perceives to be the monster and it’s only when Officer Dolos intervenes that it’s revealed to be all a hallucination. In reality the monster is in fact Malcolm.
That last bit just came to me as I was writing. I think I may in fact have all the items be the same monster so then it all sort of ties together.
You know what, it’s too late. I’m going with it. Hopefully, this works out.
Knowing my luck, it’s going to crash and burn in my face.